Did I choose this life of illusion? Don't be mad.Yet even as he spoke, John realized he was not telling the full truth. He talked about leading a good life, doing good things for the world. 'I love you, Kath.' 'But it feels - I shouldn't say this - it feels manipulating.'. How you've figured everything out, all the angles, except what it's for.' 'For us,' he said. 'I don't know, it just seem strange, sort of. Not exactly.' 'What then?' She made a shifting motion with her shoulders. Planning every tiny detail.' 'And that's bad?' 'No. 'The way you talk, it sounds calculating or something. 'Well, I still don't get it,' she said.There were times in my life when I couldn't feel much, not sadness or pity or passion, and somehow I blamed this place for what I had become, and I blamed it for taking away the person I had once been.Before they die, though, one of the dead guys says, "The fuck you do that for?" and the jumper says, "Story of my life, man" and other guys start to smile but he's dead. One guy jumps on it and takes the blast, but it's a killer grenade and everybody dies anyway. ![]()
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